To the Woman that Told Me to Go Fuck Myself Today

Thursday, March 27, 2008

I took your call around 3:30 central time. I helped to cancel your account with us that you admittedly signed up for, and then I asked you if I could help you with anything else. You proceeded to inform me that there had better not be any charges on your phone bill for our service, despite the fact that you let the 10 day free period fly by over a month ago. Then you felt the need to be all lady like and lapse into language that is normally reserved for bar room situations or just laughing it up with your friends. Indeed, I am not your friend or would ever talk to you in a bar, so per our company policy I promptly hung up on you.

You proceeded to call back, and as your luck would have it, my insanely manly voice and top flight demeanor greeted you once again. For some reason this seemed to anger you even more, and after uttering what sounded like “Oh great, I think you are the one that just hung up on me…”, I readily informed you that I hung up on you because you were using foul language while talking to me and our company policy is that I do not have to listen to your potty mouth. You mumbled some more incoherent language, and at the tail end of your sentence I heard the words “you can go fuck yourself.”

I really must thank you for this. It is like a beacon of light exploded around me showing an option in life that I, being of the male sex, had forgotten about. Yes! Yes indeed! I could go fuck myself! How in the world did that manage to slip my mind after all the years I spent as a teen doing just what you suggested? It is like a whole new chapter in my life has opened up, the pages just waiting for me to get them to stick together. Thank you so much Client ID 500955. Thank You. Really.

- AA