To the Woman that Told Me to Go Fuck Myself Today

Thursday, March 27, 2008

I took your call around 3:30 central time. I helped to cancel your account with us that you admittedly signed up for, and then I asked you if I could help you with anything else. You proceeded to inform me that there had better not be any charges on your phone bill for our service, despite the fact that you let the 10 day free period fly by over a month ago. Then you felt the need to be all lady like and lapse into language that is normally reserved for bar room situations or just laughing it up with your friends. Indeed, I am not your friend or would ever talk to you in a bar, so per our company policy I promptly hung up on you.

You proceeded to call back, and as your luck would have it, my insanely manly voice and top flight demeanor greeted you once again. For some reason this seemed to anger you even more, and after uttering what sounded like “Oh great, I think you are the one that just hung up on me…”, I readily informed you that I hung up on you because you were using foul language while talking to me and our company policy is that I do not have to listen to your potty mouth. You mumbled some more incoherent language, and at the tail end of your sentence I heard the words “you can go fuck yourself.”

I really must thank you for this. It is like a beacon of light exploded around me showing an option in life that I, being of the male sex, had forgotten about. Yes! Yes indeed! I could go fuck myself! How in the world did that manage to slip my mind after all the years I spent as a teen doing just what you suggested? It is like a whole new chapter in my life has opened up, the pages just waiting for me to get them to stick together. Thank you so much Client ID 500955. Thank You. Really.

- AA

“C**T”: A Definition Revealed

*Again, my work, but repost. About 4 weeks old.

Two weeks ago I finally found out what the definition of a “c**t” was. I normally never, ever use that disgusting word but let me warn you now, this is the last time in this post that I am going to edit the word out…so if you don’t want to see it in print I suggest you go to another post. Hopefully this is the last time I will have to ever use it. I highly doubt it.

You see, I watched a woman publicly destroy her husband on national television for money. Through a series of questions while hooked up to a lie detector, she freely admitted to the following:

A. Not loving her husband when they got married
B. Still loving her ex on their wedding day
C. Taking her wedding ring off to appear single
D. Extramarital affairs
E. She would leave her husband for her ex.

all these and others she answered for MONEY……..until………………………

She could not answer this simple question truthfully: Do you think you are a good person?

AND SHE FUCKING SAID YES! Needless to say, the machine came back false, she then lost all the money after destroying this human being she called a husband.

Now, I know what you are thinking, I am calling this woman a cunt…

NOPE. WRONGO! She is just a money loving tramp.

While she was taking her time, trying to apparently WILL herself to believe that she really is a good person, her father can be heard in the background saying “She is. She is a good person. She is.” along with her mother being shown nodding her head yes.

Cunts! Cunts! Cunts!

This is the exact reason why this little whore still has enough fucking nerve to try and say she is a good person, because her parents are disillusioned enough to look the other way while their daughter freely admits on T.V. to being a filthy skank. I wanna know the shit she got away with while growing up!

Websters is going to have to come out with a special addition, and I know just the family picture to put next the the entry “Cunt”.

Dear Heath Ledger: I am going to burn in hell

*Again, to get the ball rolling on this site I have pulled this from an old social networking site I was on.

I have enjoyed most of his work and I think his passing is just as sad as River Phoenix’s was, but when I heard the news yesterday, after the first shock of the announcement, my first thought was “Well, I guess ‘Brokeback Mountain 2: Corn Pole Canyon is out of the question.”